Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
