So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
