You made me cry and you don't even care
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
