if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
