Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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