can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
