he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
