Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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