Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They took my balls.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
