Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
