He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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