i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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