I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize