The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
