He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
