My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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