Sponge bath it is.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
