i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
