She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
