I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
