My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
