i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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