Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
