My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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