When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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