You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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