Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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