they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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