Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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