ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
