I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
