My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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