I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
