we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
