i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
