drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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