i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
