i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
