i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize