he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize