I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
