your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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