At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
