Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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