I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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