Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
