no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
