What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
