shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize