I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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