At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone came in the potted fern
I made him laugh his dick is mine
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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