Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
