it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
