I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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