It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
