I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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