life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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