I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
