Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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