Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
