Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
