puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
MIDGETS
????
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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