My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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