Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
